The Chariot

So much has been happening over the past few days, but I've also been busy with other things, so I've not been able to get to the PC to update.

The Chariot has appeared in my tarot spread over the past two weeks, and I find its reappearance really interesting. The Chariot seems to be brining me a clear message at the moment, and it's obviously something to which I need to pay attention.

There are two horses, one black, one white and this has worked over the past two weeks to reinforce the genuine need to bring together all aspects of self and not to see either as a polar opposite, but to integrate both into that inner relationship, thereby bringing inner wholeness through relationship. Life is gestated in darkness, seeds germinate in the dark, this the place of initial growth, yet as growth commences, so they seek the light. Both are required for life.

The horses are under the control of the driver. Control is a huge issue for me, I bulk at any kind of control, be it through individuals, organisations, structure, dogma or any such thing. I have fought for many years for the right to be my own person. I think an upbringing of control through religion is the root of this detirmination, but the message of the Chariot is clear in that deep inner emotions and impulses need to come under my own control. This control isn't a forceful, suppressing or oppressive thing, but rather a control that comes from discipline and from the development of my own true will. The inner impulses of which I speak are not wrong, and their expression is not wrong, but it's about bringing my own inner world under the control of my intellect and will and channeling these natural forces into a powerful force. It's a further development of knowing myself in an intimate yet powerful way.

"The tendency of the spiritual mind is to niceness but we should be firm minded not nice minded"

goes a quote that I heard some time ago, but for the life of me can't remember the source! The Chariot reinforces this message, true spirituality isn't always about being nice to all things, it's about deep inner transformation and growth, a series of continual transitions. To stand still is to stagnate, and stagnation equals death - it isn't an option.

There's something here about personal responsibility, taking personal control, speaking ones truth and standing up to take the consequences of that, not being afraid of change, not seeing change as a threat to security, but learning to move with the ebb and flow of spiritual movement, and being intuitive and responsive enough to both hear and heed the call. As a Magickal Being I create my own reality and I set my own destiny, and there's something here about accepting personal responsibility for that, not pointing the finger, not blaming people and circumstances, but realising that I can do something about it. This is the truth and reality of standing in ones power. It's a moving from bring reactive to proactive. The myriad emotions that exist within me, my desires, passions, thoughts, feelings are there to serve, not control. My body is where I am choosing to live in this incarnation, my senses are how I experience the world in this incarnation, and that's cool, but it's also not all there is, to limit myself to such a narrow experience of life is to miss out on spiritual dynamism and reality.

Personal determination, personal discipline, personal dedication, all requirements to a productive spiritual life. The rider of the Chariot knows the destination and there's little that will alter her course. Whilst there's something here of controlling anger and aggression, there is also something about developing those vital aspects of the spiritual being - determination and a focused, steadfast mind.

This is one more stage of the letting go process. Letting go of fear, the fear of change because any change shifts the foundation, alters the perception, shifts the goalposts. This is a letting go of that which no longer serves, but also an embracing of that which does - it's a 'little death' leading to a bigger life, a period of transition, stepping ever closer to initiation, which in itself is a continual process.

There's also something here of a walking consciousness, being aware of my intra-actions as well as my interactions, clearing out the conduit to allow for ever greater communication between Younger, Talking and Higher Self.

Now I need to pull all this together - I think that's enough to be going on with!!!

Get Real

It's fascinating, but the 4 tarot cards I have turned this week all carry a similar message, just from different perspectives. They all talk about drawing apart for a while, of stillness, of taking time out to reflect before moving on. They talk of the need for solitude, even a time of personal retreat, to take stock, evaluate, reflect and learn before moving on.

I'm realising that this 'drawing apart' period is exciting and necessary as it's a time of preparation. It's a period of time in which I need to allow work to be undertaken that involves a time of 'unlearning.' This is about a letting go of not just old habits, thought patterns and behaviours, but a letting go of things that I have been taught in the past that no longer carry any worth or substance. Together with this is a time of testing as to what is real and what is not and in this allowing the gifts that I have been given time to nurture, develop and grow. This is all part of learning not only to rely on my natural senses, but to allow my consciousness to move to a higher as well as a deeper level and to trust my intuition and other gifts. This is a time of learning, of development, of growth and this demands some serious study and comittment. It's a time of getting to know my inner landscape on a more intimate and far deeper level. It's a time of embracing and accepting self before moving onto the next stage of my journey. It's also a time of personal honesty - it really is the time to get real!

Restlessness

I'm sensing a restlessness within me. It's like I've been at a certain spiritual level for some time and I've reached a plateaux. I can either stay at this comfortable place, or move on. To move on is a challenge, but it will bring so much of worth and value, to stay where I am is to stagnate. I know that I need to grow as opposed to simply tread water.

I want to move into a deeper and richer experience of the Lord and Lady. I can see that some of this is about daring to take up my rightful place in terms of stepping into and having confidence in my new birthright. To actually start moving in my Priesthood in a real and powerful way. Balanced with this is my mindfulness of not operating out of ego, but in spirit. It's not about self promotion on any level, but it is about stepping into the reality of who I am.

I sense that I am on the threshold of something new and deeper. My intuition will deepen, my psychic abilities grow and this gifts will come to the fore as I use them to serve and they will flourish from a place of dedication and spiritual work.

I sense that Beltane is going to be significant for me this year.

Affirmation

I have had a big challenge from the Lord and Lady via the tarot - the challenge of motivation, commitment and dedication. Here I have discovered the importance of the work. No quick fixes, no shortcuts, but rather a real dedication to walk my path. I seek to know and understand, and it's this commitment to the journey, and my dedication to the Lord and Lady that I have reaffirmed today.