This has been a good week in terms of friends challenging me on various topics, yet these topics have had a couple of themes running through them: what do I actually believe and where is my place in the Universe? Good challenges to have and challenges that demand a response. The more that time passes the more uncomfortable I find it to live in a place of fuzziness. Increasingly I need clarity and anything else just seems to land me in a place of treading treacle.
I have become more convinced than ever that as human beings we are indeed Children of the God’s. I say this as I am really beginning to appreciate that we are souls on an evolutionary journey, choosing to rake this incarnation in humanity as part of our journey back to the Godhead. We don’t just have a spark of the Divine within us; we are a reflection of the Divine, part of the One Divine Life. We are Divine. We will one day, from one lifetime, travel home to the Godhead, or we may live as Ascended Masters, this I don’t fully understand as yet, and this is also many lifetimes away. At this point, for me, suffice to know that we are on that path, on that journey and that our own and our fellow human beings evolution is what actually matters, in the here and now.
Growing up in a Christian family and as an adult spending a number of years living within what I today openly and confidently describe as various Christian cults I was taught to think nothing of myself. I was taught to see myself as a doormat. Indeed, at a Bible College I attended for a number of years we actually had lectures on ‘being a doormat for Christ’ from a man who was an esteemed Christian speaker called Campbell McAlpine. I was taught that we had nothing of ourselves as whatever we did have was evil, worthless and of no consequence.
I now see that what we actually have is everything, yet this everything is housed in a body that has its own desires. These desires are not evil, they are not wrong, and to indulge them is neither evil nor wrong. There is, however, an issue of control, of who is in charge, and this is another subject I guess! Suffice to say that the answer lies in knowing ones true will and experiencing ones true connection to the Divine. When one is clear on ones path and ones connection then the issue of who is controlling who ceases to be relevant as all becomes clear.
But this entry is not about the body and the soul, I’ve talked about this before. This is more about the soul and my relationship with the One Divine Life.
I have been raised to see myself as nothing, as something small and insignificant, but now I see that I am indeed a Giant! I am a Giant because of I am part of the Whole, part of Source, not just an aspect of, but integral to the Divine. I am from and as my God’s. My soul cries to the heavens as my body celebrates this world and this life.
Key to this, I am convinced, is understanding our own true will. This is more than understanding our calling; this is more than understanding our purpose. I think it has to be about knowing and understanding, at a profound and revealed level, the will of our soul in this moment in time in this incarnation. It’s about our dynamic relationship with the One Divine Life. It’s about our God Self, our individuation, our encounter, even, with our Holy Guardian Angel. I can’t claim to have experienced that level of initiation as yet, but increasingly it’s a level to which I am drawn. This experience has to be central to fully moving from the small to the Giant experience.
I was before. I have lived many lives. My soul has been on and is on a journey, not just of education, but an evolutionary experience, bringing in that which needs to be and must be and my time in this incarnation is but one aspect of that journey. Discovering my true will is intrinsically linked with knowing who I was before name and form, discovering my truth before I took this form, before I chose to spend this incarnation within this body.
Within our physical is our spiritual self. This spiritual self, this God Self, this person we were before name and form is from and of the God’s. It is this aspect that needs to assume supremacy and it is from here that we create our own reality. The things we feel, the thoughts we have and the words we speak all have creative force and create our own reality. This happens on a solitary all the way through to a national and even international level. We are the masters of our own destiny because we create that which we experience. As Children of the God’s we create our own experiences, our own reality and we can affect our future.
I fall into the trap, all too often, I am learning, of allowing experience to create my own reality as opposed to creating my own experience from my own reality. If I am a Child of the God’s then I create, I do not allow my reality to be created for me. I’m in charge! You can see how this is a complete reversal from all that I was taught when I was a member of various Christian Cults.
This is difficult stuff, and I don’t claim to have any answers at all at this moment in time. All I am writing about is the revelation into which I am entering at this moment in time; the reality that is hitting at this moment. As ever on my own spiritual journey it is for me to take this deeper and further in my own life and in my own experience.
I know that this is about meditation, spending time with my God’s, my Guides and my Ancestors. This is about my God Self getting bigger and truly learning to speak my truth as I stand in my true Power as a Child of the God’s. This is about me recognising my place as someone who stands between and travels between the worlds.
This is about me standing firm when the shit of everyday life is flying in all directions. At this moment I allow these experiences to derail me, to send me off course, to spend a few days or even weeks out of kilter and I lose all sense of connection. This is one negative aspect of walking a solitary path, but this is more than made up for in many other areas.
But all of what I speak comes not from physical effort or striving. It comes not from activity as such, but more from simply knowing our true birthright. It comes from really knowing who we were before name and form and who are. Who we truly are. It comes from that moment of revelation and living in that revelation. Staying in that place is both simple and complex. It also demands a choice and in a sense it does come from a place of surrender.
We can influence and steer micro and macro life events, but we steer in connection with our own true will. Knowing our true course and the course we travel, just as the stars of the heavens travel their own course. They stick to their course, just as I should remain with mine, fulfilling the truth of my own true will without deviation. It’s a tough call! As we all play our part, so we inform the greater human consciousness and as such we can bring the One Divine Will to bear on international events.
The reality is that as Children of the God’s, we create. I guess the question is what am I currently manifesting? I think the honest answer to that is that I’ve probably been creating too much negativity in recent times. I need to remedy this. But this remedy is way above that of simplistic affirmations, it’s about affirmations that come from a place of depth, a place of true Divine revelation and spiritual reality that flows from a genuine connection and expression of my own true will.
We see, we feel, we think, we speak, we make it happen. My words bring forth reality; they create my own reality and lay before me my own destiny.
I may have been raised to see, think, feel and speak as a dwarf, but I am in fact a spiritual Giant.
We all are.