I don’t want anything spiritual, it isn’t my line, I had an overdose of it at Oxford. What I want is that something vital which I feel to be somewhere in the universe, which I know I need, and which I can’t lay my hand on
And for me, this is my quest. I want to make and experience that true connection with the One Divine Life and for this connection to change me and those I come into contact with. What I want is spiritual in the sense that I hunger for the inner courts of reality and not the outer courts of theatre. I don’t want pretence, show, theatre, costume and pseudo-glamour, I want all that stripped away in order to get hold of that which is real and to truly experience Them in my being. I think one of the reasons I have been silent here for so long is that I have been disillusioned with the peddling of spirituality, and whilst I know that each and every one of us has a living to make, there is something cheapening about it when it is peddled by people who have simply read the right books but experienced little. And reality has to be what it is all about.
I am conscious that I am setting out my store, and in a way I already feel the pressure of that, but by the same token one does not become an initiate of the Mysteries by attending a weekend workshop, I know that this is about commitment, dedication, spiritual practice, meditation and sacrifice. Key themes that have been with me for some time. So what I am talking about here is a process rather than an event, and one that I have control over.
As I stood on Glastonbury Tor yesterday I became aware of two things:
1. That I was deeply connected to Earth, at the same time I was aware that through this connection I was drawing up fire from the very centre of Earth and this fire became the centre of me
2. That I was connected to the Stars and celestial light radiated from my head and poured into my head.
These two things are the power of connection and to, at the moment, show the first steps on what I am understanding as the Western Mystery Tradition. There are two things running parallel: the deep connection to Earth with roots firmly planted in the ways and traditions of my ancestors, whilst at the same time reaching to the heavens and experiencing that deep connection with the One Divine Life. Here is a perfect union and one cannot be had without the other, the meeting of heaven and earth. This is something that I need to explore, as there is something about bring the reality of this into the Now – into my daily experience.
And here is an issue that trips me up again and again – bringing all of this into my daily working life. I’ve not cracked that as yet. On a daily basis I still see things that upset and offend me in terms of how people are treated and their humanity walked over, and increasingly, I find this impossible to accept. The actions of others have the detrimental affects upon the not only the careers of others, but also violates their human dignity, and somehow I am expected to support this in the name of progressing the organisation. This I find increasingly impossible. I feel that 2010 will be a time where, drawing on the fire that burns within me and the inspiration of my Gods I will be speaking not only my truth, but the truth, into these situations. Courage and strength, two words that were given to me by a Facebook friend yesterday, will be key in tackling this . . . and I will need them by the bucket load! It is stuff like this work situation that I allow to block my spiritual progress. I feel that it almost robs me of something. Instead I need to turn it around, and pour in to this spiritual void that is work, something of me. My true self.
I want to step away from Heaven and Earth as simply concepts, so that their reality radiates within and from me so that change is engendered, both for me, and for those who experience me in various ways as I go about my life.