Today gave me the kick up the arse I’ve needed for some time. I think the Gods have had enough of my lurking in the shadows and have shone their collective light into corners of my life that has had the net result of awakening my spiritual practice. It’s about time. I’ve been in the doldrums a little too long!
What’s caused this? Mainly my professional life. Work has been confusing and muddling. It’s caused me to really question my motives for doing the job I do and has caused me to question and assess many of my professional working relationships. As someone who values authenticity and transparency, this current climate for an individual who works for the local authority is not a comfortable time! I hope you get my drift!
I think that what I have allowed to happen here is for me to become ‘done too’ as opposed to asserting my spiritual right to be in control. I’ve a tail wagged by the corporate dog as opposed to standing in my spiritual power. Today, through a very insightful reading from Jamie, I’ve once again been shown that no matter how much I doubt it at times, I do indeed have the spiritual resources and intuition and birthright to stand in my own spiritual power. Lesson learned – once again!
Together with work has been my spiritual practice per sae. Off this blog (actually, on it as well, on occasion) I have been subjected to spiritual attack from some Christians who figure in my distant past. In truth some of these attacks have caused me to wobble a bit. They have hurt, to be honest. They’ve had the result of opening old wounds and hurts from the past, so I guess I have retreated somewhat to lick my wounds, to assess, to evaluate and to review. If it’s possible for a Christian to curse another human being, this is effectively what happened in a recent communication. Hard to believe, isn’t it, but trust me, it happened! Still, after a time of reflection I feel back on course.
This has caused me to really review my path and where I stand and what I believe. Today’s reading has helped with this. I am basically a hedge witch who places spiritual devotion and dedication to my God’s at the heart of all I do. My magick flows from this, and my magick is about my own personal spiritual evolution, and the spiritual evolution of those who come to me, my community and one day, when I have learned and experienced more, hopefully, my country too. My calling to ‘stand between’ continues to ring true in my heart and mind and I know that my Will is to know and experience the ecstatic embrace of the Divine. I have no question about that.
And all of this informs my daily life. I see no sense of purpose in any path if it does not inform ones daily life. I don’t subscribe to the view that being nice = fluffy and being mean = being truly pagan. My view about this is that fluffy = quick fixes and candyfloss approach to spiritual practice and being truly pagan means walking the walk as well as talking the talk. It’s about authenticity, personal responsibility, being open, honest, transparent, true to ones calling, true to oneself and true to ones God’s. That’s the rub, that’s where the rubber hits the road and that’s tough!
So that’s me. 2011 is going to be a year of significant spiritual development, I feel. As usual, the call of Imbolc is waking me up. I feel called to service, called to action and called to get real. I fully intend to rise to the call!