Today I took myself out on a walking meditation. I have a few days leave from work, and I’ve been determined to put them to good use. No prizes for guessing where I went – yes, as I thought, you’ve guessed it - Glastonbury Tor and Chalice Well! I just love these places and I have such a genuine connection with them. I am so aware of how blessed I am to have such amazing places close by, but then I guess we all have our ‘special places’ and our connections to sacred sites. I also know that our mere presence, as a Magickal Being, makes any place sacred, as we connect to the Spirits of Place and work with them. And, over the years, such as with Glastonbury Tor and Chalice Well, these places become imbued with this energy. The words we speak, from the intentions that we make, have the power to create, or destroy, build up, or break down.
I also intend to visit Stanton Drew and Avebury during the oncoming days.
I have been aware of Samhain calling in recent days. Energy is shifting, and this has been reflected in a number of blogs that I regularly visit. As energy shifts, so my inner work shifts, and I have become increasingly aware that Samhain is just around the corner. Samhain is one of my most favourite festivals. The energy and power of this season drives right into the very core of me and both thrills and terrifies me, simultaneously. I think it needs to do both, and as such I never become complacent but rather see this time of death and rebirth as hugely significant as I step into a new spiritual and magickal year. It also makes this time real, and not superficial, on any level. It can be an incredibly painful time, as one lets go things that no longer serve, and then one reaches out to embrace the new. It’s not just about an acknowledgement of the season, but a real, genuine, and total connection with the season of death, and then rebirth. This is the time of transformation and transformation is central to my path. As I get closer to Source, the One Divine Life, how can I not be transformed?
As I reached the top of Glastonbury Tor, I was calling to Gwyn Ap Nudd, who I relate to as the king of the Underworld. He is the God of death and rebirth, as the Underworld is where souls are prepared for their rebirth. I was seeking guidance on that which I need to release, in preparation for my Samhain ritual. Words and images were flooding my mind and soon one word stood out about all others: Restriction.
I sat, leaning against the tower, in the wonderful warmth of full sun, seeking more insight into this word, and soon it became clear. So much of my work has been that of letting go of old patterns, both of behaviour and thinking, and moving into a new place. I am amazed at how far I have travelled, yet I still restrict myself, and this was key – the message for me was to let go of the limitations I place upon myself. It’s time to see how I limit me, mainly in my thinking, but also in my interactions with others.
Together with this were the limitations I place upon my progression upon my own path. Sometimes these limitations are borne of fear that stems from my Christian upbringing. It’s over 20 years since I broke free from the yoke of Christianity, yet still the echoes remain, quieter, much fainter than before, but at times they are still there. They are but whispers, just whispers, but whispers that at times hold me in check, stop me moving forward, because I doubt and fear and I feel that this doubt and fear often has its origin in a belief that I am not worthy. These things need to go as I want to move forward and I need to release the lies of the past as I move into the truth of Now.
There is no glass ceiling, nothing has been imposed, any restriction is there because I alone place it there. As my trust and belief in myself increases, so I need to step into my own personal responsibility and integrity. I am in charge of me. My words both create and destroy. As I embrace my own True Will I am my own light and I am my own master and therefore the bars of this self imposed prison can be torn apart – and this is my intention for this Samhain.
As I walked to Chalice Well I sat at the Wellhead and spoke with Sulis, my patron Goddess. She is the Goddess of the hot, healing springs of Bath, Goddess of blessing and of curse, Goddess of fire and water. As I listened to Her promptings I was increasingly aware that I have embraced her Water aspect – my intuition is well developed, I am aware of my own emotions, I own them, and disown those that are not of me, and my inner relationship is finely tuned. These things can always develop further, however I need to embrace her Fire and bring this further into the centre of my being. I need to allow her Fire to rise within me, that fire of passion, of alchemy, of transformation, of purification. This is the Fire that burns the dross and leaves the gem – the Fire of Inner Light. This is a clear call and a clear challenge.
Linked with this is the ability to receive. When I doubt my worth it is difficult to receive anything. Don’t get me wrong, I’m no wilting wallflower, but there are times when it’s difficult to receive because I don’t feel good enough, and I know where this has its root – firmly seated in the past indoctrination of Christian teaching.
So my Samhain ritual begins to take form. A relinquishing of the limitations and restrictions I place upon myself, a letting go of self doubt and limiting self belief, walking away from old concepts of me. And then a stepping into the truth of who I am – a Magickal Being, and a genuine stepping into the element of Fire, embracing the Fires of Sulis and seeing them rise and take hold within me. This will be a ritual that is designed to cement a process that is already at work within me and that will result in a deepening of this work through the art of causing changes in consciousness at will.
So mote it be!