The reality of Rootedness that I spoke of in my previous body is not some static thing but rather something that is dynamic and vital. It’s not something that imprisons or keeps one anchored in some kind of stationary or sedentary way, but rather it is an ecstatic , spiritual reality that provides a dynamic connection to a source of spiritual power. From the womb of the Mother life is conceived following transformation and this is birthed anew within. All is change and change is constant, the evolution of the soul. The fire from the core of Earth pulsates within whilst my Spirit cries to the starry heavens. And here is a tension that I have struggled to reconcile for some time, a mystery that I have not fully understood: the relationship between body and soul. If you think I am going to explain that mystery in this post, then I am going to have to disappoint! This journal is simply a journal of markers, signposts within the fog of my own spiritual journey, I don’t claim to have any answers of any great significance. All I do here is record the steps that I take, as well as my frustrations of how slow those steps are all too often.
More than once, in a variety of ways, I have questioned the relationship of body and soul. I’ve been criticised in some pagan circles over the years for what some have called being ‘too serious’ or of blurring the line between the celebration of the body and spiritual experience, but I think some of the criticisms miss the point. In understanding the relationship between body and soul one starts to understand who one truly is. Am I my body? Am I not my body? I know that I am of this body, but I am also aware that I transcend this body. There is a dynamic relationship here that I still don’t fully understand. I am of the dust of the Earth, and my body will return to this Earth, but I also know, with increasing conviction, that housed within this body is something far greater. What has bothered some of my pagan friends, over the years, is that when I start to speak in this manner is they misunderstand my comments and interpret them as Christian-esque. Trust me, with my evangelical Christian past, this has bothered me too, but nothing could be further from the truth. What I am beginning to see is that the soul within me, far from being some kind of separate entity seeking salvation in order to return to God is in fact the spark of Divinity itself, not separate from, but part of, an ever evolving expression of the Divine Mind, part of The All, my own Divinity. In many ways I know not of what I speak, yet I sense this and as I sense it I feel such a resonance within that I can’t begin to explain, which probably isn’t any help to anyone!
This can’t be some kind of intellectual exercise, it has to be something of an experience, and whilst theory is important, at the end of the day what really counts is ones own spiritual experience. Increasingly what I am seeing is as one lives dependant upon the body one is dragged into a kind of spiritual treacle that is almost impossible to move within. The body is the vehicle, but it is not the all in all. The body is important, and it is to be celebrated, but it is not the end in itself. It has a purpose, but it is not the purpose itself. Attachment to the body does not allow for spiritual evolution because such an attachment leads to a dependence upon that which is seen, whereas, weird as it sounds, the reality it actually that which is unseen. And the unseen is not some kind of airy-fairy made up candy floss fluffy superficial thing, it is pure spiritual reality and part of spiritual growth is learning to cross the bridge from this level of consciousness to that which transcends dependence upon the body, it’s senses, it’s delusions and its limitations. Yes, these are all words that I’ve read before, but slowly they seem to be falling into place at a new level, at a new depth and in a new way.
But this raises anxiety as well as excitement because I know, only too well, how I cling to this body, even though this body fails me at every turn. The frailty of my body is evident, in recent months it has failed me further, requiring to be (surgically) patched up, once again, until it fails, again, and yet still I cling to it because to do otherwise causes fear to rise within me. The existence of this fear tells me that I have further to walk across the bridge and that whilst my picture of what lies beyond the bridge is getting clearer, I’ve still yet to fully cross the threshold that separates the levels of consciousness of which I speak. And the more I cling to this body the more I will suffer because that is all this vehicle can do, ultimately. My attention needs to shift from the seen to the unseen, from the delusion of the seen to the reality of the unseen.
From my humanity to my Divinity.
Showing posts with label The Divine. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Divine. Show all posts
Tuesday, 19 May 2009
Wednesday, 2 July 2008
Belly Full Of Joy!
I'm taking this week as annual leave, and it's lovely! Just so good to be out of the rat race for a week and feeling able to do those things that I really want to do. As Glastonbury is one of my favourite places in all the world, that's where I've been. Taking breakfast there, walking up the Tor or around Chalice Well, visiting my favourite shops, just chilling, it's been great. It's wonderful to be out of my usual routine, I'm not even doing my 'morning meditations' as I'm able to meditate at the Wellhead or on the Tor, just wonderful.
I had a lovely walking meditation/pagan prayer time today. At the top of the Tor I faced each of the cardinal points and called to Fire, Water, Earth and Air in turn, just quietly and internally, no pomp, no showing off, just a need to connect and communicate. As I called the elements in, I had this overwhelming sense of joy that was so enveloping, it was wonderful. I knew that I was a part of all I could see, and that all I could see was a part of me, the oneness, the interconnectedness was just so tangible and real. It wasn't something on the page of a pagan book, or on someone's blog, and it wasn't something on my blog, it was real and I could feel it and I knew it. I had this real powerful sense of seeing beyond the image of nature into what it really was, the revelation and manifestation of the Divine, and more than that, I was of earth and of spirit. I such a strong sense of my roots in the watery and dark underworld, my trunk in this world and my branches high in the Celestial heavens. At the same time I was aware of how easily I connect with the Underworld and how I struggle more with the celestial realm. I noted that and put it away for later!
This sense of being, this sense of joy and wonder filled my belly and flowed out of me, and I walked down the Tor, in the pouring rain, singing:
"I am the Goddess
I am the Mother
All acts of love and pleasure
Are my rituals"
over and over and over, I must have sung it non-stop for about 20 minutes! I didn't care who walked by, or who I passed, I just smiled and carried on singing! Each verse I took up an octave, and when I reached the top, I started bring it down an octave, and I sang and sang and sang! It was wonderful! As I sang, so the energy rose and I lifted my arms to both receive this energy and to send it back out to people close to me who need healing right now. My family who have lost their Aunt, my friend John in hospital and my father who has to have a medical examination on Friday. I felt this flow, and it was amazing in its intensity. I danced down the hill!
The rain didn't deter me one iota, in fact it was lovely rain! I went on in to Chalice Well and stood for some between the Yew Trees. This is a powerful place for me as it keys into my sense of balance, of standing between. Again I lifted my arms and sent this energy for the highest good to all who are on my mind. Then I walked on the Wellhead.
At the Wellhead I called to the Lady of the Well, and She said She Is and I Am. She is all things, She is the mighty ocean, and also the single droplet of water, She is the rolling forests and the single blade of grass. She is the powerful wind that was blowing around the Tor and the gentle breeze that embraces me and the breath flowing from my mouth. She is the blazing light from the Sun and the gentle light falling through the meadow, She is All Things and Of All Things. And I Am. I Am in Goddess, and Goddess is in me, we are of each other, connected, in perfect synergy. I am held by Her, cradled in Her hands, and yet I am of the hands that hold me. All is One and One is All. This is the power of relationship, this is Divine relationship - all things are Divine and we are all Stars. We are of the multiverse, part of the mystery. The wonder, power, love and mystery of this is beyond words - one just has to dance and the joy and wonder of this truth!
I then sang my way back to the High Street, sat in the wonderful Galatea restaurant and looked out of the window, beaming for about an hour! People must have thought I was either mad, or coming on to them!!
Who cares?!?
What a lovely day! I'll probably do it all over again tomorrow!
I had a lovely walking meditation/pagan prayer time today. At the top of the Tor I faced each of the cardinal points and called to Fire, Water, Earth and Air in turn, just quietly and internally, no pomp, no showing off, just a need to connect and communicate. As I called the elements in, I had this overwhelming sense of joy that was so enveloping, it was wonderful. I knew that I was a part of all I could see, and that all I could see was a part of me, the oneness, the interconnectedness was just so tangible and real. It wasn't something on the page of a pagan book, or on someone's blog, and it wasn't something on my blog, it was real and I could feel it and I knew it. I had this real powerful sense of seeing beyond the image of nature into what it really was, the revelation and manifestation of the Divine, and more than that, I was of earth and of spirit. I such a strong sense of my roots in the watery and dark underworld, my trunk in this world and my branches high in the Celestial heavens. At the same time I was aware of how easily I connect with the Underworld and how I struggle more with the celestial realm. I noted that and put it away for later!
This sense of being, this sense of joy and wonder filled my belly and flowed out of me, and I walked down the Tor, in the pouring rain, singing:
"I am the Goddess
I am the Mother
All acts of love and pleasure
Are my rituals"
over and over and over, I must have sung it non-stop for about 20 minutes! I didn't care who walked by, or who I passed, I just smiled and carried on singing! Each verse I took up an octave, and when I reached the top, I started bring it down an octave, and I sang and sang and sang! It was wonderful! As I sang, so the energy rose and I lifted my arms to both receive this energy and to send it back out to people close to me who need healing right now. My family who have lost their Aunt, my friend John in hospital and my father who has to have a medical examination on Friday. I felt this flow, and it was amazing in its intensity. I danced down the hill!
The rain didn't deter me one iota, in fact it was lovely rain! I went on in to Chalice Well and stood for some between the Yew Trees. This is a powerful place for me as it keys into my sense of balance, of standing between. Again I lifted my arms and sent this energy for the highest good to all who are on my mind. Then I walked on the Wellhead.
At the Wellhead I called to the Lady of the Well, and She said She Is and I Am. She is all things, She is the mighty ocean, and also the single droplet of water, She is the rolling forests and the single blade of grass. She is the powerful wind that was blowing around the Tor and the gentle breeze that embraces me and the breath flowing from my mouth. She is the blazing light from the Sun and the gentle light falling through the meadow, She is All Things and Of All Things. And I Am. I Am in Goddess, and Goddess is in me, we are of each other, connected, in perfect synergy. I am held by Her, cradled in Her hands, and yet I am of the hands that hold me. All is One and One is All. This is the power of relationship, this is Divine relationship - all things are Divine and we are all Stars. We are of the multiverse, part of the mystery. The wonder, power, love and mystery of this is beyond words - one just has to dance and the joy and wonder of this truth!
I then sang my way back to the High Street, sat in the wonderful Galatea restaurant and looked out of the window, beaming for about an hour! People must have thought I was either mad, or coming on to them!!
Who cares?!?
What a lovely day! I'll probably do it all over again tomorrow!
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