Transitions

I'm just coming to the end of what has been a week of annual leave, it's been lovely! I had lots of plans, including sorting the allotment out among other things, but the snow arrived, in droves, and put pay to all my plans! That was a good thing really, as I had to adapt and change in light of the new circumstances and it actually forced me to rest and relax - which was probably something I needed above all else. I have so many lessons to learn about 'chilling' and 'being' and just letting go and trusting. This week I had a lesson in this first hand!

One thing I did this week was to treat myself to a framed photograph that I've been eyeing up for quite some time. It's been on display in the window of Dicketts (the stationers in Glastonbury High Street) for weeks, and I've never been able to simply walk by it, I've always been forced to stop, stare and journey with all the photograph conveys and contains. Photographs of pictures or photos never really work that well, but here it is, I hope this helps, in part, to explain why I love it so:



For me this photograph is all about change, about transition. It talks to me of moving from one phase of life to another. Perhaps from this physical plane to the heavenly realm through the death of this physical body. Perhaps the transition of initiation, with all the profound changes this brings, or perhaps through moving through another rite of passage. It's a photograph that for me captures wonder, excitement, joy and promise and it exudes trust; placing ones trust in Deity, in the Unseen. Behind is black and white, a one dimensional existence, ahead is the colour of wonder. It also calls for action, for the initiate to actually step forward, to step out in trust, to act according to ones firm belief. To me this picture is totally awe inspiring because it contains all this, and then some!

I guess this speaks powerfully to me because this is where I feel I stand at the moment. I am convinced that in some way, shape or form the calendar year of 2009 will be demanding a step of some kind from me. I don't know at this stage exactly what form this step may take, but it will be a step of transition, a step that requires me to move from one place to another, the opening of a new phase in my life, a new phase of growth, of development, of existence. This may relate to my working life or my spiritual life, I don't know, perhaps both, but movement definitely feels as like a theme for this year, whatever the nature of that change may be. Somehow I will be travelling into a new place, moving way from what may transpire to have been rather one dimensional into a multi dimensional and multi faceted experience.

My meditations and rituals for the early part of this year will, I am sure, focus around a kind of preparation for me, building upon the preparatory work that has gone before, and that has been recorded in this blog.

As well as this picture there is a place in Glastonbury that also has this kind of impact upon me. It's the area of the two great Yew trees at Chalice Well, captured perfectly and beautifully in this photograph, not taken by me, but by Morgana, of the Glastonbury Pilgrim Centre:



As I stand in this space in the gardens I am again powerfully reminded of my calling to 'stand between' as though I hold the tension between life and death, light and dark, heaven and earth. I don't know how that sounds to you, and I can see how it may sound pompous, but it really is a real and dramatic sensation and, just as I found it impossible to walk past the photograph, so I find it impossible to walk past the two great Yew trees. I've been fortunate enough to conduct ritual in this part of Chalice Well, working with this powerful energy. I consider that a great privilege.

The immediate challenge for me is to move forward in this revelation, using the energy I describe, deepening my relationship with Deity and stepping into this new phase, this next part of my calling. What I can't afford to do is simply tread water . . . this is a time of movement and change, that much is perfectly clear!

From The Inside, Out!

It was lovely to be back in my Temple Room and back into my morning spiritual practice. I didn't have that much time, just 30 minutes, but it was so good to be able to move in the presence of the Lord and Lady and to be able to feel the touch of My Guides and animal spirits. It was like coming home after some time away, a real joy to be back in warm, familiar company.

I will confess to an audible laugh when I turned 3 Tarot cards this morning. I had asked Deity for guidance on my future, for direction, for steps to take on my path toward spiritual depth revelation, and what card did I turn again? Yep, the Death card! I had to chuckle, as well groan! I thought: "haven't I done enough dying?" evidently the answer is a resounding no! As I turned the other cards they spoke of moving forward in my tradition and moving deeper into intuition, a need to hear my own inner voice above that of the hundred other voices that clamour for attention.



This was an important morning. I called to the Lord and Lady, asking for their guidance. I also called to my Guides and totems, because I needed to hear their voice. In recent months I feel that I've travelled over a very large distance, growing as taught directly by Spirit, but this morning I felt as though I had been brought back to the start once more. Clearly there is a lesson that I am not learning, there is something that I need to learn, or at least, there is something that needs to travel to a far deeper level.

I began to see the lesson that I need to learn. I saw that whilst intellect supports my path, it isn't my path. The part of me that needs to analyse everything, understand everything, know everything, simply works to feed my chattering mind. It keeps me bound to that which holds me back, it feeds the mind only. The greatest spiritual discovery comes not from a text book, not from a blog, but from my own relationship with the Divine. The communion of Spirit with spirit. Yes, the words, traditions and experiences of others are vitally important, and my path is based upon a sound tradition and the knowledge of others feeds and nourishes my own progress and development, but there is much more than that. The heart, the centre, is my own spiritual relationship and interconnection with all things. My confidence needs to be in my own spiritual connection and the revelation that emanates from that dynamic connection.

I mistrust my own experience at times because of the criticism of others and because of my own lack of confidence in myself. I am apt to put myself down. This morning I saw that I need to have a greater confidence in my own experience and develop a trust in the gifts that I have. Believing in my intuition, believing in my own spiritual heritage, and trusting my own experience of the Divine. To put myself down is to deny Their faith in me.

This is a continuance of letting go of the false labels that have been attributed to me in the mundane world, but I also saw that whilst I am free of those things, I've been given the tools to set myself free. This is a work that comes from within, a work that results from me using the gifts I have been given - a spiritual empowerment that works from the inside, out. It's time I believed in me as much as the Lord and Lady believe in me!

I felt the call of the Lord and Lady, asking me to deeper my connection with them, and also with my Guides and totems. A time of journeying to meet them on a deeper level awaits, to build upon this relationship and to experience them. I saw one of my Guides, just briefly this morning, and I was dancing with her, but I was a child, a free child. I've always sensed this Guide as a Mother figure, and I saw her as such this morning. All of this seems to speak to me of walking away from fear - one of my biggest hurdles, and moving into this relationship of trust that means trust self as much as the Divine.