Saturday, 13 September 2008

Change

I have a growing confidence in myself, and this confidence is coming not from some kind of arrogant, puffed up, over inflated ego, 'holier than thou', type place, but from an ever deepening awareness of my own place in all things. As opposed to seeing myself as a kind of misfit, which I think is how I have probably viewed myself for too long, I am seeing myself as a jigsaw piece that brings completeness to a particular picture, a particular place in time. It's not that I don't fit, it's more that I am a necessary part that helps me, and everything and everyone else, fit. I have a role to play. It's back to this thing of all being connected, interconnected, all One. As I find my own true will, my own natural self, and as I move in relation to my true self, thus avoiding inner (and indeed outer) conflict, so the jigsaw becomes complete, so things begin to make sense and so I begin to play my part in making the picture complete and support and enable others to play their own part also.

There is something about personal responsibility here. I am the master of my own destiny, not a victim of circumstance, but a magickal being who creates my own destiny. It is my responsibility to be true to who I truly am, to act in accordance with my own true will, to follow my course in relation with the The All and to take confidence and responsibility in who I Am. This means more than simply speaking my truth, it's about being my truth. Every facet of me needs to authentically radiate my own reality, my own truth. As I move in accordance with my own true will and as I enjoy the inner harmony this brings, this harmony is what those around me will encounter. This is becoming increasingly important to me.

I am finding that so much of this has it's birth in my appreciation of my true connection with The All. In this past week, as I have been calling in the elements, and knowing that as I become those elements, within and without, I have been experiencing my true connection with them, as if my body holds the tension between them, if that makes any sense. I have been aware of not just 'holding that space' as it has been said to me before, but actually holding that tension, that real sense of energy in the centre of all. The sense of energy has been quite amazing, quite powerful.

I feel this is crucial, as I sense change coming, yet again. I am anticipating change in my work, both in the expectations of me in relation to my work, and my geographical location. Neither of these things bring any sense of joy, but I know that I need to be in a place where I am in control of what is happening to me, and of my reactions to the change. I can't allow myself to be 'done to' in this sense, but I need to see my place within this change and where I need to be. Somewhere in here it's about recognising what this moment is all about, and what I am to bring to this moment. Change can't be something that happens to me, it has to be a process that I am part of and instrumental within and as such I feel that I am being prepared for this. It's like a lesson.

There's a sense of authority here, again, not in egotistical way, but in a sense of truly standing up as a Priest of Goddess, and truly celebrating her immanence. Her qualities are within me and of me, as I am in and of her, so I move in that power, I move in that authority and I need to begin to bring this into reality here on the material plane.

4 comments:

PriestessAura said...

I am happy to have found another pagan after my own heart; it is about spiritual growth isn't it? Personal responsibility, being the master of your own destiny,-moving in accordance with your own True Will which is the will of the Goddess in your heart--when you find that you are part of that connection, part of that intrinsic whole and understand it so, then you know it. Sadly so many people I feel, walk this path (path of the pagan) blindly, for the sake of walking it with others or for being angry with the Church never realizing that walking this living, breathing path does require some work--some work to be aware of the magic that is life....ahh, I'm starting to blog the blog...srry!! Love this, I am sooooo happy to have found your blog!!!

Andy said...

And I am happy you've found my blog!

Yes. I think it has to be about spiritual growth, which to me is about growth in all areas as it's about growth as a complete being - a magickal being. It's hard, it's tough and it's a challenge at times, but this path of transformation is one that is also beautiful and worthwhile and I would not want to trade it for anything. It's lovely to meet a fellow traveller on this special journey!

Paul Rousselle said...

Sir! You've been nominated and awarded ;)

Andy said...

Bless you Paul, you're really very kind, thank you!