"How come you're so calm all the time?" someone said to me today "why don't you get angry [about this] I just can't get over how calm you are!" It's true, the issue she was mentioning has been raising high emotion at work, and has done for about a week, but somehow I have been able to address the situation from a place of calm, a place of peace, which has amazed even me! I do show emotion, and I do get angry, but somehow in this particular situation at this particular moment in time I've been able to draw on an inner resource of calm and peace and have remained pretty unflustered. This is a particularly good sign for me and one that I'm really pleased about. It's progress!
This inner place of peace, of security and safety is one that I have been building of late. It's like my Inner Temple, not a place of retreat, as such, as it's not a place of hiding, but a place of operation - but one that is unaffected by external stimuli. It's a place from where I can face the storm, even enter into the storm, but a place in which I am protected, a place of being held. I would like to be able to say that this place is somewhere I constantly remain, but that would be a lie! All too often I step out of this wonderful place of connection, and as soon as I do so, I know it! However, it's somewhere I am learning to live more often these days. This is the place of trust in the Divine and in my connection with the One Divine Life. This Inner Temple, in this sense, isn't so much a place, but an outworking of my relationship with the One Divine Life and of an innate trust in myself that flows from the wonder of this relationship.
Flowing from this I saw this morning that I can lay my angst, stress and worry down. The deeper I enter into the wonder of this relationship the less I need to operate from fear and anxiety and the more I can move into trust, both of Goddess, and of myself. The key is the wonder of relationship with Deity.
It's a choice, and it's also a shift of perspective. I can view my situation, my life and my future with limited vision, or with moonlight eyes. I can allow the Lord and Lady to show me all that is possible, or I can remain limited to human effort. I can travel beyond the limitation of this body and connect with the Universal Consciousness (and this I see as my Guides, my Ancestors, those and the energies of those who have gone before and the Lord and Lady). My consciousness can extend way beyond the limitations of this sensory world and therefore my perception of whatever it is that is facing me can shift. I can choose to shift my view, my perception and therefore my experience.
I turned the Sun card this morning and my mind was taken to the heat of midsummer, the heat of the Sun God. How he energizes all life, the life spark, the catalyst. There was a lizard on the card, and the sun provides them with energy, and there is a legend that the sun of the morning gives lizards their sight for the day as they are blind without it. I look to this energy, to the Sun God, to Deity, to The One Divine Life, for this special sight, this inner sight, for true inner vision.