I met with Younger Self again today and had a real sense of Younger Self being ruled by the expectations of others and as a result of this losing personal identity. This has caused YS to doubt himself on many levels and to feel 'less than' when compared to and with others.
YS seeks to be what others want him to be in order to stay safe, stay protected.
YS carries a huge weight of duty upon his shoulders and feels the need to respond to the demands and imperatives of others. "ought, should and could" rule too much of his existence. "Love me for who I am" is the cry of YS.
There is a blending into the background to stay safe, a keeping of the peace to avoid violence or the threat of violence or anger.
All the above has worked to make YS sensitive, sensitive to others, to energy shifts, to micro signals given by others. There is a real and genuine empathic gift that has arisen from all of the above. YS is a wounded healer. There is immense creative power within YS and such a positive force for healing. This is something that needs to be released.
I want to restore to YS his authenticity and his ability to be who he is, freely, without recrimination, without fear.
There is so much work to be done here. It's like I've understood so much, for so long, with my head. I know where my wounds are and I know the roots, but spending time really listening to Younger Self on a deeper and spiritual level has been incredible. I know I have more listening to do, but I also need to move into the area of healing.
A lot of this is about forgiveness. Forgiving those, truly forgiving those, who have caused hurt, pain, rejection and abandonment and with this, a space clearing. It's about clearing out those spiritual pipes of dross and debris that have restricted energy flow and limited magickal work. Opening those channels will aid and support spiritual communication between YS, Talking Self and Higher Self and thus there will be unlimited potential to magickal work. Not that this is a short-cut fix to spiritual development, I see this as an on-going process in many ways, but this is a watershed time. This moment, this period, has arrived for a reason and there seems to be such a powerfully positive energy about all this.
In YS lies so much positive creativity, so much positive energy. There is a huge restorative force, a deep empathic gift, deep intuition. YS holds the gifts of Water, and this can be released through this space clearing. YS sees no limitations, no brick walls, anything and everything is possible.
YS is stepping out from the bonds of restriction and it's exciting!
What is also fascinating is that a Ragwort plant has decided to sprout in the middle of my outside wall! It's not done it before! There's this minute crack in the wall and the Ragwort has just sprouted and it's a large plant too! Ragwort, magickally, brings protection. It's like a word from Goddess that this journey I am making is going to be a positive experience and that I am protected in it. I'm not going to get hurt. This is all about healing and moving on into a new dimension.