Saturday, 17 May 2008

Growing Pains

It's been one of those cleaning the house, doing the laundry and DIY days, so spare time has been something of a premium today. However, I found some time for meditation and I turned the 4 of Discs in a brief moment with the tarot.

The 4 of discs talking of holding on to things that no longer serve. This may be material things, it may be emotions, behaviour traits, people - anything, but the fact is that whatever it is one is holding onto it empty, it carries no real value or worth and is no longer serves.

For me, seeing this card today affirmed to me that my work with Younger Self (YS) is most certainly not over, but it also confirmed that I am indeed on the right course. YS, in all his insecurity and doubt, has led to some internalised thought processes and external behaviour patterns that no longer serve - they will not take me forward. I am a Magickal Being, I am a person of spirit, I do have spiritual depth, but to move forward, to progress spiritually, which is something I so want to do, I have to go through a process of relinquishing those things that no longer serve. Those things that restrict, that hold me back, that don't belong in the world of a Magickal Being. Only I can identify those things, only I can let go of them and only I can move forward. The choice remains with me. It's my path, only I can walk it. Now is the time for me to really look within, to look into my inner world and identify the real motivating forces within me. Are the fears and doubts of YS in control, or am I bringing YS into a place of safety and security that will enable him to lay those negative emotions down? As YS lays these things down his awesome creativity, intuition and imagination will come to the fore in a clear and unadulterated manner, making anything possible. This is a significant step, and once again, something of a continual process, but I am now at a place where I have to take a significant step forward and lay these things down. This is another 'little death.'

No one said that a spiritual journey was easy and I do feel as though I've been in something of a spiritual glasshouse in recent weeks, but this is the reality of walking a living and dynamic spiritual path. As has been said elsewhere on a pagan blog recently, 'we are held in a place of love' and this is true, and it is the love of Goddess and God that are leading me on, leading me forward to a new place, a higher place, a more powerful place. This is all about personal and spiritual development and growth, and growth of any kind brings growing pains! When one asks for and seeks transformation, as I have done, be prepared for the Lord and Lady to answer and work with you!

Tomorrow I am going to see a Spiritual and Psychic Artist. His name is Patrick Gamble and it's something that I'm both excited and a little nervous about. He is going to paint my Spirit Guide! Tomorrow is going to be another step forward!

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