As I journeyed this morning I had a real sense of being in the heart of Goddess, and she in me. Such a powerful place, a place of freedom and security. I became aware of how so many emotions rule me - fear, anxiety, self doubt, insecurity and stress, there's no room for these negative emotions in the heart of the Goddess. Here again is that sense of letting go of these 'fleshy' emotions, those emotions and reactions that belong to the earthy body, as there's no need or purpose in living in that place. I only live in that negative place if I choose to do so. Suddenly so much of recent weeks made sense, it really is about a choice - a choice to be aware of my place on the Web of Life, my place in the heart of Goddess, or to react in this body, this vehicle. It is only me who limits me. It's only me who binds me up, restricts me and holds me in bondage, as Goddess sets me free to live in freedom.
What was also underlined for me this morning was a deep sense of moving into spiritual reality, and not acting out some of kind of pseudo-pagan superstitious thing. It's not about playing at it, it's not about dabbling, it's not about games or quick fix spells, it's about profound spiritual experience based on a firm foundation and sound knowledge. Neither is it pseudo-psychology, it's about spiritual depth. Each time I call in the element of water at the moment I am almost overwhelmed at the sense of depth, and with that depth is awesome power, yet it's still, it's calm, it's peaceful - but strong. There's nothing fluffy here. Yes, water can come as a tidal wave and sweep everything away in awesome power and might, but that power and might is still there when it's calm, because of it's depth. Again I am taken to this place of stillness and in this stillness there is peace, but there is strength and power. The monsters of my mind (the above negative stuff) need have no place here, there's no room for them. I need to clean up and kick them out and allow Higher Self to manifest. I don't want to carry on being reactionary to every stressor that dare present itself at work, I don't want to even rise above these things, I simply want to give them no room as I am confident of my place in the heart of Goddess and this is my place of strength. Goddess is immanant, so what on earth am I doing worrying about such petty things?
Bah!
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2 comments:
Peace Andy,
A very beautiful post indeed. Thank you for sharing it. I can relate to much of what you say. This sentence struck me in particular: 'It is only me who limits me'. I have come to much the same realisation of late. It expressed itself to me as 'there are no boundaries, save those I choose to draw for myself'.
Your reference to water in this regard is very interesting. I have written something on a very similar topic of late here: http://thecorner.wordpress.com/2008/06/08/looking-towards-the-deep-end/ (feel free to stop by and read as you like, or to ignore).
The Sufi tradition to which I aspire talks of the drop of water and the ocean - in all sorts of ways. Not only is the drop part of the ocean, it is also possible for the drop to become/contain the ocean (though I'm not anywhere near there yet!!)
Thank you for an interesting post. I have been enjoying sharing in your journey, as it adds strength and a sense of community to my own.
Abdur Rahman
I wish you peace also, Abdur, and I thank you for your comments. I grow from sharing with others and having others share with me, so I thank you for that.
I like your quote about boundaries, it makes so much sense to me. As creators of our own reality, it really is only us who fences us in. I see that so clearly, yet so often I am guilty of repeating the same mistakes!
I love the idea of the droplet that contains the ocean - it's amazingly beautiful. Sometimes I feel that we are already there, we've just not realised or entered into it as yet. It's where I want to be, however.
I will visit your Blog, I would like to read what you have to say - I just need to get this weekend out of the way as I am pretty tied up at the moment - but more about that on todays entry!
Thank you again, Abdur, and the brightest of blessings.
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