Monday 2 June 2008

Welcoming Change

The Knight of Swords made an appearance in my morning meditation today. He heralds change, sudden change, sometimes unexpected change - this can even mean sudden illness. Herein lies the importance of interpreting cards with the surrounding cards!

As I looked to the other two cards drawn, I saw that at this moment for me, this is about inner change. Real, deep, lasting inner change, and a need for me to respond on a level I have yet not fully achieved to all that has been presented to me in recent weeks and months. The path has been laid out before me, I have the invitation, I have the tools, I have the will and desire, all I need to do now is give myself. I have done this, but the call of recent weeks has been to move deeper, to take further steps, to delve more fully into the mysteries of spiritual experience, to allow ever deeper workings of transformation. To really experience my own divinity, my own connection, my own birthright. It's like I'm being presented with the reality - I've been calling for transformation, I've been hungering for it, but am I really prepared for all that means? When we talk about the inner landscape, sometimes the soil needs to be rotovated!

Part of this is about developing greater intuition. I know this is a gift of mine, but I'm lazy with it. I don't work with it like I could. I don't listen to the prompting of my Guides as I get lost in the muddle and hassle of the day. In the quiet of meditation, it's fine, but I also need to remain tuned in where the rubber hits the road, in the cut and thrust of the day, when the phone wont stop ringing and when everyone is demanding a piece of me. It's here, in these times, that I need to hear the Lord and Lady, my Guides and Ancestors, it's here that I need my Totems. This for me is part of the current mystery - nurturing and moving in connection with and knowledge of the ebb and flow of my inner world within the daily chaos of my working life. I don't want to step in and step out of my magickal world, I want to take it with me.

I was saying on Friday that stagnation equals death, and I turned the same card today that took me on this journey last week - the 2 of discs. The power of the Ace polarised. Moving with change as a recognition that change must happen for life to flourish, for growth to occur. Keying in to the shifts and changes, the movement of Spirit, being sensitive to those small but significant changes.

Change is all around, it's happening at every level and part of my life and there is a large part of me that cries out for stability, for security, for that which I know and understand, yet I'm being taken deeper into new areas, new things, things that I cannot second guess or predict, both materially and spiritually. Change is a constant and in truth - I don't like it. Sometimes it feels like my foundations have been rocked at every moment of my life, that as soon as something feels right, it's gone, it's changed, it's not the same. To have such a spread today that shows me that not only is change a reality, it's a present reality and it's also a necessity is scary.

And here I am on the eve of New Moon, a time where change is signaled, a moving from darkness into light. Life is gestated in darkness, but it searches for the light. I need to open myself to change, to lay the fears and insecurities down and move on along the path that is being opened up for me.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dear Andy, I feel humbled by your dedication and the level of effort you manage to put into your journey, despite your busy life, your work and everything else! Time every day set aside, for you to draw cards and meditate, is a real boon and something I'd love to do.

Your work seems to be leading you in an inescapably profound and meaningful direction, which sounds as though it won't be without its possible pitfalls, but then, what riches to gain as well!

I love tuning into your latest thinkings.

I think you are a great inspiration; you are candid and totally frank about how you feel, what things mean to you, and what's happening in your life. You might not realise this, but you're teaching as well as sharing. Thank you.

The Shepton Witch said...

You understanding of the transitory nature of everything is good. The constant is change and if we can accept that, it's a great part of the battle won, though it's a hard thing to do. Most people seem to fear change - I think it is the nature of a large proportion of humans, yet it's inevitable and necessary.

It's very honest of you to admit that you seek deeper understanding and connection and yet, when faced with the possibility, hesitate to step over the threshold. I wonder, though, whether you would even be able to retreat from where you are now, having started along this path? I suspect that you are already most of the way over the threshold and there is only a trailing foot left to cross, and that's the bit of you hesitating and feeling trepidation.

The essence of you is the constant in your life and world and knowing that, in your core, and feeling strong enough to release all the rest is a huge test. You are ready for it and somehow, I suspect, you know it and are already on the way!

Andy said...

TGW - thank you for your lovely comments, your words really touched me. All I share here is my own journey, and if that supports other people walking their own path, then I'm thrilled, but it was also unexpected as I feel very much like a learner in the slow lane! Thank you, your words have really helped me.

SW - no, I can't retreat, and I don't want to. I think what I feel is probably nervous anticipation. Thank you, you've helped me see a few things more clearly, and I needed that - and I appreciate that.

I love the fact that the essence of me is the constant in my life - that is so helpful, you've given me some needed clarity, thank you!